Only Shadows
by gari10
Summary: "Dance with me. The moonlight is too good to pass up.." Parts of the story inspired by Sara Bareilles song "Only Shadows" I do not own that; all rights to SB . I do not own the characters of R&I.


Jane hung her head as she stood outside in the rain. Water dripped down her unruly curls soaking her shirt. Water droplets formed on her face, washing down like the tears she refused to shed. It was late, and she knew she should make the journey up her own stairs to her apartment. But nothing in her wanted to be alone. She needed a friend, her best friend. Jane was unsure of how long she actually stood there in the rain before she got back into her car, arguing with herself about whether or not to make the drive across town to be with the one person she wanted to be with most. If only this day had gone differently, this would not be such an impossible decision…

16 hours ago-

Jane walked into the bullpen fierce as always and ready to face another day of solving Boston's murders. She took a seat at her desk and stretched before beginning to type on her computer. Paperwork was definitely not her favorite part of the job, and she made it a habit to put it off as long as possible. Now that decision was biting her in the ass. She was typing away as she heard the faint sound of the familiar click of heels she knew were attached to her best friend, Maura. Jane glanced up just as Maura rounded the corner. They gave each other a mutual smile and said their good mornings.

"I brought you some coffee, figured you may need it," the smaller woman said.

Jane gave a small smile, "You know me too well, Maur. Looks like my paperwork has finally buried me; I am not sure I can get myself out of this mess," she says as she points to the massive stack of papers on her desk.

Maura sat on the edge of the desk and leaned over Jane's computer in order to get a better look at all the files. "If you did the work as you went, it would not get to this point, Jane."

Jane took the opportunity to take in the smaller woman's form as she leaned over her desk and smirked to herself. These thoughts had been going through her head for quite some time, but she had never gathered enough courage to say how she actually felt. "Too much to lose…" she thought to herself as her smile faded.

The smaller woman noticed the change in the dark haired woman's mood. "Is everything ok?"

"Ya, everything's great." Jane said as she patted the honey blonde's knee. "Just fine.."

12 hours ago-

Maura spent her morning over a body of a young, beautiful female. "Death certainly took you too early," she said to herself. Maura was good at her job; the best ME Boston had ever seen. She enjoyed her work and gave a voice to the dead. The dead were always easier for her to understand than the living. There were no facial features to read, no words to decipher, and no mixed signals sent. All of these things were hard for Maura. She was not a social butterfly and never had been. Jane had brought out some of her ability in this area, but Jane confused the hell out of her as well. "How could one person be so damn frustrating," she found herself whispering to the lifeless body on the table.

She finished up her autopsy and headed to her desk in order to finish up her own reports. She was so involved in what she was doing that she did not hear the ding of the elevator nor the sound of footsteps approaching her door. Maura was so lost in her own thoughts about her curly haired best friend; lost in thoughts of why she could not be more to her best friend. She sat there feeling more and more sad until she felt the piercing brown eyes on her.

"What you thinking about there, Maur?"

Caught off guard by the sudden question and gifted with the inability to lie, she quickly glanced at her report on her screen "the loss of such a young life" she squeaks out.

Jane felt like there was more. Actually she knew there was more, because she knew this woman better than she knew herself. Deciding to let it go and not push the issue, she continued. "I came down to tell you I couldn't grab lunch, but I would be free for dinner around 7 if you are interested."

"Of course," came the quick reply. Did you have anything particular in mind.

"Actually I was hoping we could have a picnic out by the water. You know, just get away for a little bit. Away from murder, away from death, and away from all this," as she gestures all around her.

Maura smiles slightly as her hazel eyes light up. "That sounds more than wonderful," standing as she speaks. "I can pick us up some wine too." The smaller woman crosses over to the brunette in order to feel closer to the one she wants.

Jane feels the atmosphere in the room shift as her best friend approaches her, but she is unable to move. Unable to breathe. There is just a few feet between her and the woman she knows without a doubt she loves with all her heart. Something in her heart aches to just yell at the top of her lungs how she feels. Instead she just smiles at the smaller woman. "So I will see you around 7 then?"

"Yes, you will."

Jane leaves and Maura is finally able to let out her own breath that she didn't even realize she was holding.

9 hours ago-

The afternoon was passing rather slowly for both women. Neither one of them got a whole lot accomplished because neither one of them could control where there thoughts went.

Jane continuously found her thoughts drifting to the woman in the basement who had captured her heart and didn't even know it. Maura had everything she could ever ask for in someone to spend the rest of her life with. She was smart, beautiful, caring, and kind of dorky in a hot genius kind of way. She was the one person Jane knew she could be herself with 100% of the time. Maura accepted her weaknesses and encouraged her strengths. This gorgeous woman she worked with every day would not judge her for working too much but would be there every step of the way. Plus, she accepted her crazy and annoying family. Jane smiled at this thought.

Jane began thinking back over the past few years and realized every important event Maura had been a part of: all of the craziness and horribleness of Hoyt, her hero's dinner, when her father left, and so many more. Jane needed Maura. Period. There was no more that needed to be thought. The truth was Jane loved Maura, needed her, and wanted to spend every important moment with her.

Maura was getting just about the same amount of work done that the brunette was upstairs. Her thoughts also drifting to her detective, and she gave up on trying to control it. She could think of no one that was as strong mentally and physically as Jane. Maura loved that Jane would work into all hours of the night to find a killer before she even thought about getting her own sleep. Jane was dedicated, fierce, caring, and the most gorgeous person inside and out Maura had ever laid eyes on. The smaller woman had never really had a lot of friends and didn't even know how to be one. The detective showed her what true friendship really meant and allowed Maura to be her quirky self at all times.

There was no doubt about it; she had it bad for her best friend. She didn't want to do anything without her. She looked forward to the detectives trips down to the morgue for no reason. She wanted to spend every weekend with her. Maura needed her. She loved Jane.

Glancing up at the clock, Jane realized that it was almost time for her dinner with Maura. She could not believe she had just spent the entire time thinking about the ME. Now it was time to spend time with the one person she can't get out of her head. "What am I going to do?" Jane thought.

5 hours ago-

7 o' clock came, and Jane fund herself down in the basement with her best friend. Maura grabbed the bottle of wine as Jane grabbed the basket filled with salads and turkey sandwiches. Healthiness is always important to Maura. They grabbed their coats and walked out to the prius that would take them to their destination.

The car ride was kind of silent. Both of them almost afraid to speak thinking maybe their tone and words would give every thought away. Instead they enjoyed the comfortable silence. Most of the time they didn't need words to communicate anyways. They had a way of knowing what the other one was going to do or say before the words were ever uttered. And do not even get people started on their eyes…

They arrived at the patch of grass by the water. The sun was setting, and it was the perfect time for a break from work. Maura spread out the blanket and got everything placed perfectly. The taller woman just smiled as her friend to the time to make everything look like they were at a five star restaurant instead of sitting on the ground. The food was finished fast and now they were taking the time to just relax and enjoy each other's company.

Jane reached over to take Maura's hand. "Thanks for coming out here with me today. I needed to get away with you. I needed to clear my head."

"I understand that. I feel like my head is going to explode sometimes."

"Too many google facts?!" This response received a playful slap from the smaller woman. After the slap, Maura left her hand on Jane's arm, softly rubbing circles.

This movement did not go unnoticed by the brunette. Jane slowly reached up and grabbed her hand and tentatively brought it to her own cheek, brushing it slowly across her lips. Maura's breath hitched in her throat at the feel of those soft lips against her skin. She literally could not breathe.

"You are going to have to breathe, Maur." She locked eyes with the smaller woman trying to convey her feelings through her looks.

"Dance with me, Jane," said in almost a whisper. "The moonlight is too good to pass up don't you think." Jane smiled as she reached for Maura's hands to help her up off the blanket.

The taller woman slowly ran her hands around Maura's sides to her back and rested them there at the little dip at the small of her back. Maura let her hands rest around Jane's upper back, as they began to sway to the sound of the water. The sight was almost sad: two people, completely in love with each other pretending that everything was fine. They remained this way for a few minutes without saying a word. Maura started to wonder if she had pushed her too far and began to pull away.

"No, where are you going?" came a voice right by her ear. So close it made the hairs on her neck stand up.

"I thought maybe this was a bad idea." Maura looked up at Jane and saw nothing but admiration in her eyes. She saw the same love she felt for the one holding her, and it scared her to death.

"Please do not pull away. I want the moon to keep shining. I want the sun not to rise. I want to stay like this for a little longer. Please." Jane realized she may of sounded like she was begging, but she didn't care if it meant she could hang on to her.

Maura didn't respond at first. Honestly, she wasn't even sure what to say. Scared was what she was feeling; she did not want to lose her best friend. "Ok, Jane," the smaller woman simply said. "For tonight, we will dance in the moonlight. But the night will end and what will remain will be only shadows of this moment. Then what do we do?" The question held much more than either one of them were ready to answer.

"I don't know." Three words spoken by the raven haired detective that pierced the smaller woman's heart. They continued to dance until it was too late for them to go back to work. Their things were gathered up, and the drive back to Jane's car at the station was rather quiet.

"Thank you for tonight," Maura said. Jane could hear the disappointment in her friend's voice. She knew the honey blonde wanted more from her. More that she was unsure she could give.

"Anytime, Maur. I will see you tomorrow." As Jane got out of the car she glanced back at Maura just in time to see her swipe a tear off of her face.

"Tomorrow." Maura simply said. She drove off leaving Jane to get into her own car.

Jane watched Maura drive off into the dark. She was beating herself up for not stepping up to the plate and being who her best friend needed her to be. Maura needed her to be her love, and Jane wanted that title. She got into her car and drove home. Halfway there the rain began to pour down. This car ride would turn out to be one of the longest of her life. She could not stop her thoughts. She could not stop her feelings. She loved this woman.

Present time-

So here Jane sat in her car completely soaked only wanting one thing: Maura. She made the drive across town as quickly as she could. Pulling into the familiar drive she almost jumped out of the car before it was even in park. She saw faint light coming from the living room; she debated slightly on ringing the doorbell not wanting to wake up the sleeping doctor. But she knew this could not wait until tomorrow. Jane brought her fist up to the door and began to bang loudly..

"Maura! Open up. It's me!" Bang, bang, bang. "Maur!"

The door swung open and doctor stood there staring back at her. Jane could see where the tears had once been in her eyes and hated herself for being the one that put them there.

"I am so sorry, Maur. I'm stupid." Jane began as Maura stood there not saying anything. Taking a step closer the taller woman softly said, "We are not only shadows, and I can't give you up tonight. I can't give you up ever."

Maura couldn't take her eyes off the detective and couldn't believe her ears. Was she really hearing these things.

"I want to watch our shadows for the rest of our lives. I want to watch them remember tonight and our love. Maura, I'm in love with you."

The doctor stood still completely shocked by all that had just taken place. Jane took another step towards her closing the space in between. The scarred hand reached up to tuck some hair behind the honey blonde's ear. This motion seemed to bring her out of her daze.

"Jane, that was really sweet. I feel the same way about you," the smaller woman started to say. "I do not ever want this moment to end."

"It doesn't have to."

"I love you too, Jane." As soon as the words were out, Jane's lips crashed onto the smaller woman's. Maura's hands instantly went to the taller woman's hair tangling in the curls. After a few minutes of kisses, the two finally broke apart.

"Dance with me, Maur," Jane whispered into her ear sending chills down her spine. "Dance with me tonight and every night after this."

Maura smiled at the request and led her into the living room. They spent the night in each other's arms swaying to music only the two of them could hear. This dance would be more than only shadows on the wall; this was a dance of forever.


End file.
